Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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