Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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