I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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