I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
