I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
