Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
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