I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
