What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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