I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I need a beard to bite.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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