i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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