We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Randomize
