Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
