remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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