you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
