She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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