i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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