literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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