ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Randomize
