I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
organizing the empties. That sober.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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