NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
