So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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