haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
