Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
