Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
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