So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize