My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
