I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
