I wanna bring you to show and tell
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
