Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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