Nicole vs. Life
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
