...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
My vagina is officially offended.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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