You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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