You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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