By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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