my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
