Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize