and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
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