you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize