she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
