Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
