I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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