Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
