im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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