I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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