I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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