What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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