he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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