it's not cheating when I paid for it
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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