Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
