I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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