Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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