dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize