My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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