god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
