Having a random hookup so left but love u
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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