he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
