I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
