I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
