I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
