I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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