Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
