I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
