That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
